Still a Christian?

My dad recently gave me the newest Rebecca St. James album. I have been listening to her since I was in high school and have always enjoyed her music. James, surprisingly, doesn't mind listening to her as well. So, this morning, on the way to the subway station, I suggested we put it on. While I've only heard the first few songs, I would definitely recommend it!

As we were listening, James asked, "So is she (Rebecca St. James) still a Christian?" Now I don't know Rebecca St. James personally, but her faith can be heard loud and clear through the lyrics of her songs. I said yes, but his question stopped me for a moment. I realized that I find myself asking that same question about people all the time. I'm sure that some people have even asked that question about me.

My heart ached as I silently went through a list of people who I had once known as such strong and faithful Christians, who now either ignore their inheritance of the heavenly kingdom or denounce it entirely. I wanted to cry out: "Why Lord? Why do You let us stray? When will Your children come home?"

As I indicated in an earlier entry, I have recently come through a time of disbelief. I know that God used this time to teach me so much about myself and teach me to be obedient to Him and Him only. During my "disbelief", I always felt God was still near. He consoled me in my brokenness and my loneliness without James and He smiled and celebrated with me in my successes. I also knew that when I denied Him, He felt betrayed and I was filled with guilt and shame, but pushed those feelings aside. But now, as I really think to those time when I was walking alone, the Lord was always there softly nudging me, whispering in my ear, and gently pulling on my arm to walk in His steps again.

I wonder now, if He is doing the same with some of my friends who have drifted away. I pray that He is.